Vaguely Sword-Shaped

Vaguely Sword-Shaped follows Josh, a young man with a birthmark that looks vaguely like a sword if you want it to, and Mike, his best friend since age four who is also referenced in the prophecy and has spent fourteen years throwing the rocks, carrying the rope, and making sure everything actually works out. Together with their formidable friend Laura — deadly with a sword, exceptional with a staff, but please don't give her a bow and arrow — they set out to face a dragon and rescue a captive princess. What they find is considerably more complicated than the proclamation suggested.

This evil dragon turns out to be a four-hundred-year-old dragon named Claude who grows cabbages he has been cultivating for eighty years and has strong opinions about soil conditioning. The princess, Lisette, left voluntarily two years before anyone thought to mention it and is busy redesigning the kingdom's agricultural system from the ground up. 

What follows is a story about loyalty, competence, and the difference between destiny and the person who makes destiny actually work — warm, funny, and gently subversive, with a prophecy sword that looks like something found in a shed and a letter to a king and queen that will make you want to stand up and cheer.